KILLJOY
Poem for Greg



Killjoy because we're tired we're exhausted we're fcking exhausted (and so are you)

Killjoy because it's about joy and about killing (joy)

Killjoy because sextoy

Killjoy because we want it to be all glossy and slippery

Killjoy because we're supposed to be grownups

Killjoy because we're grownups while we want to listen to shitty pop music while reading serious theoretical philosophical political sociological historical artistical stuff

Killjoy because we're supposed to be "professionals" "experts" "teachers" "pedagogs" who know it all while we don't know nothing

Killjoy yes obviously because most of us will think about Sara Ahmed yes yes yes yes yes

Killjoy because we have nothing to offer and we need it all

Killjoy because we're supposed to be part of it while we don't want it while we crave for it

Killjoy to be in it just for the money

Killjoy because we don't want a career while we want one

Killjoy because we want to party while we cannot

Killjoy because we'd like to be poets as curators but how could this be

Killjoy because we want to make a living doing this as grownups while we can't

Killjoy because "you make it difficult" and because of gaslighting - it's all over the place it's creepy

Killjoy because we are sick (and so are you)

Killjoy because we want to publish something, that is: make something public

Killjoy because we have huge egos but no confidence

Killjoy because we hate addictions while we cherish them

Killjoy because we want to "put stars in their eyes"

Killjoy because we crave efficiency while we hate it

Killjoy because we want to be loved but not by anyone

Killjoy because we are fcking depressed (and so are you)

Killjoy because we need vessels and spaceships to take that away from us

Killjoy because we lovehate art but we prefer people

Killjoy because we lovehate artists

Killjoy because artists lovehate us more than ever

Killjoy because we lovehate big institutions but we like it crappy and amateur too while we are too old for this

Killjoy because we want to be allowed to smoke and drink inside

Killjoy because we are fcking bored

Killjoy because there's "all that beauty"

Killjoy because we are affected and we want to learn to be more

Killjoy because we just want to see if this can happen

Killjoy because we know nothing

Killjoy because this chair is not comfortable enough

Killjoy because we like plants a lot too (and stones also)

Killjoy because we love you

Killjoy we need a proper hotel room not a lousy trashy tent in that camping while this is exactly what we're gonna get

Killjoy because our bookshelves are overflowed with books and so are our hard drives

Killjoy because we are afraid our brains won't function properly otherwise

Killjoy because this life is really definitely too much for us

Killjoy because we're gonna make it and because we're gonna fail too

Killjoy because we have huge ambitions and no ambition

Killjoy because we write poetry and nobody knows

Killjoy because we like to dance

Killjoy because we're not far from having presbyopia and rheumatism

Killjoy because we want it all right now while cannot hurry anymore

Killjoy because it's all shiny and glittery and black and white and extraordinarily colourful and grey and dull

Killjoy because you don't wanna know

Killjoy because It glows at night It's just a start We're holding on We're staying strong We won't collide We won't divide We like to keep Some places wild

Killjoy because we want to land but also fly high

Killjoy because of K like Karen (Barad)